Unsolicited Advice
by warmfluffypastries
Summary: She loves being pregnant and she loves being a mom, the one thing she doesn't love is people giving her unsolicited advice. And living in New York there was never a shortage of people offering some advice.


She loves being pregnant and she loves being a mom, the one thing she doesn't love is people giving her unsolicited advice. And living in New York there was never a shortage of people offering some advice.

i.

"_You should put a hat on that child's head."_

Probably the one she hated the most, first of all; he's a little boy, second of all; you were not his parent. It was mainly when he was entering the terrible twos and it was just beginning to get warm, but was still too cold to go without winter clothing.

"C'mon bub," she called, gathering the diaper bag and holding up the tick coat for Jackson to run into. His hair had yet to be cut, and it was falling into his eyes, but she wasn't in a hurry to rush milestones.

"No hat!" he pushed her hand away when she tried to pull it onto his head.

"But it's cold outside, you don't want your ears to get cold, do you?" she questioned, pulling him back toward her and trying to push it over his thick hair once again.

"No!" he stepped away, crossing his arms and sending her a look she knew could only be blamed on her own genetics. She wasn't in the mood for a fight; she still had a paper to write once they got home, which was just a short train ride away. Going to law school, working thirty hours a week, raising an almost two year old, and keeping her relationship fresh and thriving often left her exhausted.

"Alright, let's go," she nods, picking up the diaper bag and placing it over her shoulder with her own messenger bag. "Let me know if your head gets cold?"

They make it to the subway station with relative ease, Jackson wants to be independent so she has to let him walk, even though his little legs don't carry him quite as fast as she would like. He does hold her hand though, which is one of her conditions to allowing him to walk and he knows it, and would never dare argue with it.

It's when they are standing underground and the breezes come and go with the moving trains that an elderly woman approaches and takes the fleece hat from her hands, "make sure you keep that on your head okay?" she speaks only to Jackson before turning back to wait for the train.

Santana just rolls her eyes she's learned to bite her tongue when it comes to these things, but she wants to laugh when Jackson rips it off his head. She wants to tell the woman that he's not shivering, he doesn't have chattering teeth, and his lips aren't blue so for now she'll take the hat back, and smile down at him.

ii.

"_Isn't he a little old to still be nursing?"_

Jackson is just over two when they decide to wean him from nursing, Puck thinks she should do whatever she wants; but she realizes that while she and Jackson both enjoy their bonding time, it's time for it to end.

After researching it she decides they need to wean the night-nursing first, so he gets more feedings during the day, which means that she lets him nurse when they ride the subway from his daycare back to their apartment.

She's used to getting looks for nursing in public, but she's never really let that affect her; she is still Santana Lopez after all, so she mainly just sends them a look that has them quickly looking back down at their cellphone or reading material.

It's a man in his early thirties and a business suit that first shoots them an annoyed look as they board the subway car. Puck met her at daycare that day so they could make the trek home together.

Jackson is pulling at her shirt as she finds a seat, and Puck stands in front of them as if to provide semi-privacy. She still pulls out her nursing shawl and drapes it around them both before settling him quickly.

"How old is your son?" the guy is speaking directly to Puck, which she finds a little annoying, but whatever.

"Just turned two," he tucks the hand not holding the overhead bar into his pocket.

"That's a little old don't you think?" his tone is condescending, but Puck just rolls his eyes.

"You got any?" he questions, and when the snotty know-it-all just shakes his head he answers, "then don't worry about it."

iii.

"_How far along are you?"_

There's not a question she hates more. Getting pregnant just before the last semester of college was never in her plans, but she and Puck have both always been go-with-the-flow kind of people so they take life as it comes.

"Ms. Lopez?" her professor calls as the entire class begins to file out of the lecture hall. NYU's pre-law program is a tough one but she just got her LSAT scores back and she was in the top fifth percentile, and her GPA puts her at the top of her class at NYU, so she's kind of been relaxing a little her final semester, "can you hang back for a moment?"

She slowly slides her notebook into her bag dropping her pencil into its depths, hoping she'll be able to find it easily enough before her next class, "what's up?" she slides her hands into the hoodie's front pouch, letting her discreetly rub at her growing bump.

"I just wanted to find out if everything is okay?" he questions, sliding a stack of papers into his own bag, before turning to her, "You've been a little distracted lately, your papers haven't been quite up to par."

"Things are fine," she nods reflexively, "I'm pregnant actually," she figures if she's going to have to tell people she should start with someone who doesn't matter much to her personal life.

"How far along are you?" he asks, "You've thought things through?"

"We've decided to take things one day at a time," she nods, she knows it probably not the answer he was looking for but she honestly can't figure out his interest anyway.

"When my wife was pregnant we learned that it was best if the mother rested more during the mornings, especially during the first trimester," he starts conversationally as if this is a completely normal conversation for the situation. She wants to tell him thanks for the advice, but no thanks.

Then she realizes that she might as well take advantage of the situation, so she sits and listens to the babbling going on in front of her and reminds herself that she can handle listening to this guy's nonsense advice if it gets her a break on her assignments.

iv.

"_Are you co-sleeping?"_

Jackson sleeps with them for the first year, she loves that she doesn't have to get out of bed to nurse; but it does kind of wreck _their_ sleep habits.

She's studying a brief in front of her, she's at the law firm she's been working with for the last year. Her eyes are crossing because she's so tired, she hides yawns behind her hand and barely glances up when she hears a noise at the door of her tiny office.

"Santana," John, her boss, startles her when he leans in the door, "go home if you can't stay awake."

"Please John," she rolls her eyes, "I'm fine, just waiting for Friday, you know how it is."

"Of course," he nods, "I also know what it's like to have a baby, a spouse, a job, and trying to get through school, but I never had to nurse while I was at it."

"No," she laughs, she knows what it was like for John and his wife, it was part of the reason he'd offered her the job to begin with, because her situation had been so similar to his own, "but Puck's great, just like I'm sure you were."

"And how's Jackson sleeping?" he asks, "because Jessica didn't sleep through the night until she was three."

"Oh God," she whines dropping her head into her hands at just the thought, "we have to get him into his own bed before then."

"Are you co-sleeping?" John questions with a raised eyebrow, "I turned Les down as soon as she suggested it."

"I think it's working pretty well right now," she shrugs, "I don't have to run all over the apartment in the middle of the night."

"True enough," he nods, "but don't let it kill you, sometimes you have to do what's best for you."

v.

"_Oh I never let mine have a pacifier!"_

It's not until their little Anna Banana that Santana receives that insightful gem. Jackson is four and ready to bounce out of his shoes, he's spent too much time trapped inside their apartment over the last month.

Puck has the day off, so they've put together a bag a piece for the kids and Anna's bundled into her stroller, still asleep after a feeding, and they manage to make the 14 block trek to Central Park. There are a few other families lain out on the grass, enjoying the early spring weather, so Puck parks the stroller just off the path and lays out a blanket.

Santana relaxes onto it, grabbing her book and letting Puck and Jackson run around like madmen while they let Anna sleep. Her calm lasts about twenty minutes before she starts crying, Santana lifts her out of the stroller and gently lays her out on the blanket between her outstretched legs, before reaching back into the seat and grabbing the pacifier that had obviously fallen from her mouth.

She still has another hour before she needs to be fed, so Santana does the best she can, because she sure as hell doesn't feel like having leaking breasts all over Central Park. "Oh she's so cute," a voice startles her, as she finally gets Anna calmed down, "how old?"

"Just turned 4 weeks," she nods, using her hand to try and shield the baby's eyes from the sun.

"And you already have her sucking on a passy?" the woman's distaste is clear.

"Well it seems to be working," she tries to shrug off the woman's concern, "plus it's going to help her self-soothe in the long run."

"Oh my kids learned to self-soothe without ever using a pacifier," she sniffs before turning away.

She's about to follow the woman to give her a piece of her mind when Puck and Jackson rejoin them, "hey Anna Banana," Jackson leans forward to press a kiss against his sister's soft hair.

"Hey," Puck slips behind her, allowing her to lean back against his chest, "relax," he murmurs, placing a kiss against the shoulder left bare by her tank top.

"I hate unsolicited advice," she sighs, focusing her attention on her kids, demanding he snap a picture with his phone when Jackson squeezes between her leg and Anna, laying out next to her.

vi.

"_You're not swaddling him?"_

When Jackson is born, Santana is between her undergrad and law school, so they have a lot of free time together. She takes to jogging in the park, because she needs to get back in shape, and he apparently can sleep through anything.

It's two days before she has to begin Law school and she has just finished her usual route through the park. Jackson begins to whine and wiggle in his stroller, he's got a couple of battery powered fans to keep him cool in the summer heat, and she makes sure that he's not sweating periodically.

"Hey bud," she sighs parking the stroller near a bench, making sure the break is on before lifting him from his seat to her shoulder. She knows he's probably getting hungry, but he should've been good for another half hour or so, so she drapes a thin blanket between her sweaty shoulder and Jackson's tiny body. "You ready to get home?"

It's about that time that another young mother paused her jogging stroller in front of them. "How old is he?"

"Nine weeks," she tries to smile politely but she can already tell she's going to receive some gem of advice.

"And you don't have him swaddled?" the woman asked, her daughter appeared to be around a year old and was asleep in the early morning jog.

"It's a little too warm," she continues to try her fake smile, "plus he doesn't generally like it."

"It would keep him calmer," the woman nodded decidedly before continuing her jog, "you look great for nine weeks," she calls back.

Santana decides the woman isn't trying to be too judgmental; she just wants to encourage a fellow mother.

vii.

"_You're using cloth diapers?"_

Santana and Puck could care less about the environment and all that other shit, but they decide to try cloth diapers, especially because Jackson seems to suffer from some pretty severe diaper rashes.

Their pediatrician assures them that a change in diapering methods will not affect his rashes, but Santana is willing to try most anything because she hates to see him so angry and irritated.

It's at his daycare that someone questions her about it. The attendant has Jackson ready every day when she gets off work, "you've switched to cloth?" she asks, when Santana arrives the Monday after they've made the change.

"I thought I mentioned that this morning," Santana nods, lifting the boy onto her hip, "it's not a problem is it?" she knows they have some weird ass policies at this place, but she didn't remember diapers being one.

"No," she shakes her head, "you guys just don't seem like the type," she shrugs, "most people that start don't last very long because it's just a hassle."

"We're giving it a go because of his rashes," Santana answers, "I think we'll stick with it."

The attendant rolls her eyes as if she doesn't believe her but smiles and tells Jackson she'll see him bright and early in the morning. If there is anything Santana hates more than unsolicited advice it is unsolicited advice from non-parents.

viii.

"_Wow, that's a large age gap!"_

She hates judgments more than advice, especially when it comes to her family. They get the surprise of a lifetime during Jackson's senior year of high school. Rationally she knew forty was too young to go through menopause but she figured that was what it had to be; only to realize that baby number three was on the way.

They attend open house at the high school and she can't help but feel self-conscious of the fact that instead of rocking skinny jeans and a blouse that shows off her rocking body, she wearing a maternity dress. She realizes easily enough that she's the only Mom at this particular open house that has to worry about not only how to pay for college the following year, but also how to pay for daycare.

Puck is dutiful as always, clutching her hand tightly in his, as they traverse the hallways, and find Jackson's classes with ease. He refused to come with them, after his freshman year when his classmates ogled her like a piece of meat.

"Hey Mrs. P," little Timmy Parks, smiles when he sees them, obviously unable to get out of attending open house with his parents, "Mr. P."

"What's up Tim?" Puck grins, she kind of loves the fact that her husband is friends with their kids. She knows it makes them better parents that they have such an open and honest, friendly relationship with their kids.

"I was just telling Mom, how you guys were expanding the family," he motions to his parents sitting in the open gymnasium, quietly talking to each other, "Jackson watching Anna tonight?"

"Yeah," Puck nods, they realize that their daughter is already a teenager but at 13 she's not quite old enough to be left alone.

"Cool," he nods, "you think it would be okay for me to hang with them?"

"Your parents won't mind?" Santana asked, glancing at his parents as they were suddenly approaching them.

"Max, Carrie good to see you again," Puck offers, shaking hands with Max.

"We were shocked to learn of your pregnancy," Carrie offers motioning to the small bump she sports, "that's a large age gap, you're working with."

Puck just grins, he's proud of the fact that he managed to impregnate his wife at 41 years old, and that she looks just as smoking a 40 and pregnant as she did at 22 and pregnant. "It'll keep us young."

"To say the least," Carrie murmurs, "did you ask them Tim?"

"Uh yeah, Mr. P said it was cool," he nods.

"Alright, well text Jack and let him know you're coming and then he'll be waiting for you," Carrie nods, watching her son.

Santana bites her tongue, she doesn't want to offer inane advice, because she hates to receive it so she definitely doesn't want to be responsible for giving it to someone who doesn't want it.

ix.

"_He should definitely be circumcised!"_

The advice she hates the most, is from her mother-in-law. They agree that they aren't going to force any religious traditions on their kids, but when Jackson is born and Jane Puckerman flies to New York so she can greet her first grandchild with open arms she has something to say about it.

"Now I know you don't want to have a bris," Puck groans as soon as the words fall from her lips, he knows she's going to give them a hard time, "but I still think he should be circumcised."

"Ma," Puck shakes his head, taking his baby boy from her, they have less than 24 hours to stay at the hospital and he already told Santana he didn't care either way.

"It's better for his hygiene," she offers, before turning to Santana, "and I'm sure you'll agree with me that it just looks better."

"Can we not talk about this?" he asked, noticing the grin Santana was trying to hide behind her hand, "I really don't need to know my mother's preference in foreskin."

"No," Santana nods, "but she does have a point, and while I do think it looks better. Puck and I agreed that any decision concerning Jackson's penis would be left to him."

"And I haven't decided yet," Puck nodded, leaning over his mother's shoulder to watch his baby boy wiggle around and stretch out before pulling all his limbs back into his body tightly.

"Noah, you know this is something you should be doing," Jane implores to her son. Santana now knows that she hates the way her baby daddy gives in so easily to the advice of his mother.

Unsolicited advice is such a _bitch._


End file.
